Let’s face it: preparing for an audition is nearly as stressful as the audition itself. START: Oh, those poor children, trapped. START: Yes Which one's the most. Classical Monologues for Women-Marina Caldarone 2006 As an actor at any level - from school exam to professional casting - you are likely to beExplore Great Comedic Monologues for Women. Audition Monologues: Power Pieces for Kids and Teens Revised Edition-Deborah Maddox A guide to show performers a variety of dramatic and comedic monologues for children and teens.
Comedic Monologues For Women Auditions Free Comedic Monologues
Here's a list of hilarious speeches for both men and women. They make everyone laugh, build your confidence, and loosen up the auditors. Comedic monologues are great for auditions. “So, the day after I turned 18…” – Val Clarke from ‘A Chorus Line’5 Short Comedic Monologues for Women - ThoughtCo Free Comedic Monologues for Acting Auditions. Here are 17 great comedic monologues for women: 1. Just like every actress, every monologue brings something new to the table – especially when it comes to comedy! Next time you’re looking to slay an audition with a funny monologue (YAS, QUEEN!), peruse this diverse collection.
Cause I wanted to be a Rockette. Funny 1 minute monologues, 1 minute comedic monologues, 1 minute monologues for teens, 1 minute monologues for men, 1 minute comedic monologues women“So, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks goodbye, got on a Trailways bus – and headed for the big bad apple. This witty monologue, from the acclaimed musical, ‘A Chorus Line,’ denotes one dancer’s darkly comedic journey to the Broadway stage.1m.
Merry Christmas – and never made it back to Radio City. Unfortunately though, she got knocked up over Christmas. A goddamn parade! I twirled a friggin’ baton for two hours in the rain. Well, she came home one Christmas to visit, and they gave her a parade. See, I never heard about “The Red Shoes,” I never saw “The Red Shoes,” I didn’t give a fu** about “The Red Shoes.” I decided to be a Rockette because this girl in my home town – Louella Heiner – had actually gotten out and made it in New York.
I could do a hundred and eighty degree split and come up tapping the Morse Code. I looked like a fucking nurse! I had 87 dollars in my pocket and seven years of tap and acrobatics. Get the picture? Anyway, I got off this bus in my little white shoes, my little white tights, little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair – which was natural then. I was ugly, skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as a pancake.
But after a while I caught on. I mean I’d dance rings around the other girls and find myself in the alley with the other rejects. So I said: Fuck you, Radio City and the Rockettes! I’m gonna make on Broadway!Well, Broadway, same story. Of course, what he was trying to tell me was…it was the way I looked, not the fankicks. But they weren’t good enough.
“I can’t open sardines and answer the phone…” – Dotty Otley from ‘Noises Off’Who doesn’t love an audition where you’re playing a character auditioning to play a character? This play-within-a-play features Dotty Otley, a washed-up actress who has a flare for the dramatics. And on a scale of 10….they gave me for dance 10. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition.
Philip Brent, that’s right…. Brent’s not here…He lives here, yes, but he don’t live here now because he lives in Spain… Mr. Yes, but there’s no one here, love…. I’ve only got one pair of feet. I can’t open sardines and answer the phone. Clackett, a gossipy housekeeper.“It’s no good you going on.
Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, I’ll go and look. Squire Squire, Hackham and who’s the other one…? No, they’re not in Spain, they’re next to the phone in the study. I look after the house for him, but I go home at one o’clock on Wednesday, only I’ve got a nice plate of sardines to put my feet up with, because it’s the royal what’s-it’s called on the telly — the royal you know — where’s the paper, then? And if it’s to do with letting the house then you’ll have to ring the house-agents, because they’re the agents for the house….
Barrie (creator of ‘Peter Pan’), this challenging monologue proves a unique pick.“I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek, but had to creep round Silver Lake to get to windward of them. Derived from a play by James M. “I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek” – Lady Mary from ‘The Admirable Crichton’If it’s traveling back in time you like, choose the words of Lady Mary Lasenby, daughter of an English lord who is stuck on a deserted island with fellow aristocrats. Soon as you take the weight off your feet, down it all comes on your head.”3.
“ tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance.” – Mrs. I lost him in the marshes, got on his track again near Bread Fruit Wood, and brought him down with an arrow in Firefly Grove.” 4. He went spinning down the rapids, down I went in pursuit he clambered ashore, I clambered ashore away we tore helter-skelter up the hill and down again. There was nothing for it but to try and run them down, so I singled out a fat buck and away we went down the shore of the lake, up the valley of rolling stones he doubled into Brawling River and took to the water, but I swam after him the river is only half a mile broad there, but it runs strong.
And I tell them, there are no small parts, only small actors. Frankly, I don’t ever spend much time on Joseph because it’s always Elmer Hopkins, and he knows all about Mary and Joseph, but I do explain about the Wise Men and the shepherds and how important they are. That’s how I explain that. Here’s what I do — I always start with Mary and tell them we must choose our Mary carefully because Mary was the mother of Jesus… Yes, and then I tell them about Joseph, that he was God’s choice to be Jesus’ father. Tackle her hilarious lecture, and you’re sure to bring a little holiday cheer to the room.“tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance. Armstrong: veteran Christmas pageant director dedicated to ensuring one church’s amateur stage adaptation of the story of Jesus’ birth does the Bible justice.
Bob could do that, and he could keep an eye on the shepherds too. You’ll have to get someone to push the baby angels on, otherwise they get in each other’s way and bend their wings. I just hope you don’t have too many baby angels, Grace, because they’ll be your biggest problem. And don’t let them wear clunky shoes or high heels.
And, Grace, don’t use just anybody’s baby for Jesus… get a quiet one. They think because it’s a play that they have to wear lipstick, and it looks terrible. Don’t let them wear lipstick.
When I grow up I’m going to be the biggest queen there ever was, and I’ll live in a big palace and when I go out in my coach, all the people will wave and I will shout at them, and…and…in the summertime I will go to my summer palace and I’ll wear my crown in swimming and everything, and all the people will cheer and I will shout at them… What do you mean I can’t be queen? Nobody should be kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. Spoiler alert: she intends to be a QUEEN!“Do you know what I intend? I intend to be a queen. “Do you know what I intend?” – Lucy Van Pelt from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’If it’s another member of Charlie Brown’s gang that strikes your fancy (or if you have a knack for dishing severe sass), check out this infamous declaration by the incomparable Lucy Van Pelt. Poor Sally garners an average ‘C’ grade for a school sculpture, and she has a thing or two to say about it…“A ‘C’? A ‘C’? I got a ‘C’ on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a ‘C’ in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my ‘C’? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made…now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coat hangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my ‘C’?” 6. “I got a ‘C’ on my coathanger sculpture?” – Sally Brown from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’Charlie Brown and friends may be a mere bunch of kids, but the beauty of the hit musical, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” is that a cast of adult actors brings this motley crew to life.
Yes, I will buy myself a queendom and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation myself. If I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very rich then I will buy myself a queendom.
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